Healthy Boundaries Healthy personal boundaries are not meant to be a fence of protection against everyone else, rather a permission slip for you to live, love and risk creating the life you want. When you are clear about your boundaries, you are free to try new things because you know your limits. You trust you can keep yourself safe, so moving outside your comfort zone isn’t so scary. Boundaries tell everyone around you that you trust yourself and raise your self-confidence.
Boundaries in Relationships Boundaries are most recognized in the context of relationships. When you bump into an uncomfortable situation, and your red flag goes up, a boundary has been crossed, or needs to be established. Again, boundaries are not punishments or fences against other people. Boundaries are safeguards for you to keep your inner person intact.
How do you know when you need a boundary? Most of the time, our boundaries are created by your past experiences. You establish inner rules to avoid conflict from happening again. These silent contracts may not even be in your own consciousness. Any time you feel rocked off center, it is time to figure out which boundary was crossed, or what boundary needs to be created.
Signs that tell you a boundary needs to be created, or enforced are when you find yourself:
- Telling the same story over and over
Establishing healthy boundaries, creates guidelines for us when we recognize ourselves experiencing: loneliness, stress, feelings of being challenged, conflict or anxiety. Boundaries play a part in just about every area of personal growth. They are central to
- Feeling connected
- Letting go of past events
- Working through hurt feelings
- Resolving conflict in relationships
- Finding enough time
- Ending addictions
- Taking steps towards your goals
- Trying new things
- Making sustainable friendships
- Enjoying life
- Success in work and family